


Do It Right

by amassingeffect (Furorscribiendi)



Series: Goddamn Trainwreck [3]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Explicit Language, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-06-22 00:55:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15570180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Furorscribiendi/pseuds/amassingeffect
Summary: There's a war on and Zaeed's got stuff to do. Javik doesn't talk to him for some reason before he goes. That's totally fine and his prerogative. The arsehole.





	Do It Right

Eventually, he did have to leave the Normandy. A few more missions and then a job came in: escorting munitions to a besieged location at the edge of Reaper territory out in the Traverse. Enough people had declined the job before the Alliance came to him. There was no way it was a private enterprise, they wouldn’t risk their precious profits for this.

So Zaeed took it because suicide missions seemed to have become his thing. Reckless damn plan, but still a better retirement option that watching everything probably go tits up. Shepard had let him go, but not before pointedly explaining that Javik was in his quarters and saying goodbye was probably a good idea. 

Fat fucking load of good that had been. He’d rang twice and not gotten a single answer. No way was he waiting outside the door like some lovesick idiot. Mostly because he was not a lovesick idiot. So he’d packed his things, tried once more — still no damned answer — and had jumped ship at the Citadel. 

Thing about running an op like this required capable people and that meant a little trip down to the seedier parts of the lower wards. With the influx of refugees, it was like shoving through a mass of goddamn jello. He did finally find the bar he was looking for, and sure enough there she was, right at the back looking ready to bite the face off anyone who even breathed wrong at her. 

Zaeed knew enough to show up at the table with a bottle of ryncol and two fingers of whiskey for himself. He slid the bottle her way before sitting down. She glanced at him, her yellow cat eyes damned near glowing in the dim and with her mottled green plates.

“Massani.”

“Got a job, Buksor. Delivering munitions to Ielara out in Laniakea. Edge of Reaper territory. Ship’s provided, Alliance payday. Twisted ‘em for mods too,” no sense in beating around the bush with her. “Half the creds up front, rest immediately upon return back to Citadel space.”

Buksor curled a lip in a vicious sneer. “Bet they hope we don’t come back.”

Huh. Usually there was a little bit of cajoling needed to get Buksor to agree. This time he wasn’t about to look the gift horse in the mouth. He poured her some ryncol and downed half his glass when she drank.

“Stay cheery, yeah luv. Looking to get Laerdol to pilot us, if I can find him, arrogant little prick.”

“So long as he abides by the rules.” Buksor fixed her gaze on him. “If he even thinks the word ‘neutered’ around me, I’ll skin him alive and then chuck him out the airlock.”

 _‘Toss it out the airlock.’_ Zaeed couldn’t fight the twitch of his lip, Javik’s decisive tone clear as day in his head. All he did was nod. “Can’t say I blame you. Hell, I’ll just tell him to keep his bloody trap shut. Since Shepard’s done the impossible on Tuchanka, you know he’ll be worse than usual.”

Buksor smiled now. “I always knew you were worth the time of day, Massani. Ping me when we’re ready to go shoot some things.”

Zaeed raised his glass to her before he finished it and headed back out to the ward. One down, three more to go.

_____________________________________________________

By the time he was done assembling the crew of mercs needed, Zaeed already felt like he’d run a damn op. This was the logistical part he hated so fucking much. But ever since Vido, he didn’t dare leave it to anyone else. He assembled the crew himself if one was needed, talked to them himself and ran the damn op. 

More than once he’d weeded out utter arses, full of hot air and no goddamn skill to even speak of. With Buksor on board, it had been easy to get Jiessya on board. Truth be told, between Jiessya and Buksor, the two women had seen enough shit and knew how to handle just about anything. Kaemus was the easier sell. The turian merc was as grizzled as Zaeed but his cheery disposition hid an utterly pragmatic ruthlessness. If the job needed to be done, it’d be done and to hell with the consequences. Turned out even the Hierarchy had limits on ‘acceptable losses’ and Kaemus knew it too well. The fact that he needed to come back for the rest of his payday would keep him in check. As for Laerdol, the lure of money had been enough to get him to agree to keep his mouth shut.

Zaeed counted it a small fucking mercy. If he had to bust up a fight between Buksor and Laerdol… well, Laerdol would have been a dead man. But the cheeky arse had to get some dig in.

“I mean, you couldn’t get the Normandy to take us?”

Zaeed had stared at the smug, smirking salarian before grabbing him by the lapels and yanking him across the table. “Listen you little shit, you’re lucky I even came to you with this. Fucking Commander Shepard contracted me for one job. I was lucky to get another one. Shepard’s trying to win the goddamn war, they’re not a fucking taxi service. So you get some creds, fly us there in that Alliance bucket, fly us back in one piece and we get paid. You keep any talk to the minimum and to the mission, period. Is that too much for you or do I need to find someone else?”

Laerdol had been tripping over the apologies and Zaeed left with a massive headache and a sudden clarity about why Javik said to airlock things. It was much fucking simpler and made for a very profound message to anyone watching. He’d reached his crappy little hotel, checked it over before sending everyone a ping with the dock and departure time before he crawled into bed. Goddamn, but he hated this shit. Shooting things was way easier.

____________________________________________________________

“Descending down to Ielara now.”

So far, it was pretty much the only damned thing Laerdol said on the whole trip. They’d left the Citadel almost two solar cycles ago. The trip to Ielara was mostly quiet, sometimes Kaemus trying to chat and Zaeed biting. Zaeed usually didn’t have a problem with the quiet.

Usually.

All the quiet was doing was giving him time to think. Why the hell didn’t Javik want to see him before he left? Damned if Zaeed knew when he’d be back on the Normandy. Hell, if he’d ever even see the Normandy again. And that fucker just left the door closed, didn’t say a word.

There was the possibility of sending a message. But Zaeed was pretty sure all he would have written was ‘Fuck you’ and there was probably only one way the Prothean would have interpreted that.

Not that Zaeed would have minded that at all. But goddamn, Javik was a definite asshole sometimes. 

“Incoming weapons fire, brace for evasive maneuvers!”

Everyone grabbed hold of the supports as the ship juddered and swerved sharply. Laerdol might have been a smug like shit, but he could definitely give Joker a run for his money. And then, even better,

“Reaper forces converging on landing zone.”

“Open the hangar doors.” Zaeed unhooked his gun, priming it.

Buksor let loose a wild whoop, pulling out her massive Claymore. Kaemus had his Phaeston and Zaeed knew better than to ask how Jiessya got her hands on a Vindicator. But Laerdol opened the hangar door and they let loose, raining down gunfire on the mob of husks and Cannibals that were trying to converge on their landing zone.

“We’ll clear ‘em out!” Zaeed roared about the Husk and Cannibal howls. “Lay low until we radio you again.”

“Roger that” was the only thing Laerdol said before the four of them ran off the ramp and into the screaming maw of hell. They barely had time to clear a path to some cover before the whine of Ravager shots came. Fucking hell, those things?

“Jisseya! Get Buksor to those things and take ‘em out. Kaemus, we’ll give ‘em a start.”

Funny how everyone just listened to him, actually fell in line and executed the plan. The biotic shield Jisseya threw up let her and Buksor run for it, lobbed grenades from Zaeed and Kaemus making Reaper forces explode around them and rain down blood and gore. They flanked right behind Jisseya and Buksor, taking out anything at distance when possible and slicing them down with omni-blades when in range. 

Had to love the fact that omni-blades were now considered a standard upgrade across the board what with the war and all.

Everything seemed to be moving in a screaming blur and he was shooting, the stink of cauterized flesh from his omni-blade rank in his nose. But they were moving, closing in on the Ravagers when a long, high-pitched screech made his hackles rise. 

“Shit, Kaemus, help Bukor take ‘em out. Jisseya, you know how to Reave?”

“Do I look like a Goddess-blasted justicar? I can warp and that’s all you’ve got.”

“Good enough. We got two banshees to deal with. Fuckers never travel alone.”

They split off into new pairs, and Zaeed could hear Buksor crash into the Ravagers, the distinct sound of Kaemus' Phaeston and weirdly enough, Ravager shots? He didn’t think too much about it, since he could see the blue-black streaks of a banshee charging towards them. He switched his ammo to incendiary and let loose as Jisseya popped off a warp. It hit the first banshee but already Jisseya was yelling “Three o’clock” and firing shots in the new direction.

Fucking. Banshees.

A Ravager shot slammed into the Banshee closest to Jisseya and Zaeed switched his focus on the one that was closing in on him, raising an arm back to impale him on those deadly spikes it called fingers. He threw himself to the side in a roll, getting caught by the swipe on his upper arm. It burned like fire, but he’d had worse. All that mattered was that he could keep firing. When he rolled onto his feet and popped back up, he was already unloading shots right into the banshee’s twisted face. 

A long, drawn scream caught his attention for a split second. The other banshee was a writhing pile of disintergrating ash and Buksor was actually wrestling with a Ravager and aiming it’s guns at the banshee by Zaeed. Her muscles strained, the armour looking like it was gonna pop off any second. But one jerk of her foot hit something on the Ravager and then three shots thudded into the banshee to finish it off. Kaemus already had his gun nozzle jammed up against Ravager as the Banshee fell, the telltale death shriek nearly masking the pop of seven shots in its soft, vulnerable spots.

That’s when his omni-tool pinged with a message.

Zaeed couldn't be arsed to look at it, he was too busy surveying the field… it looked like an absolute massacre, bloody with body parts everywhere. Shit, they lucked out that there were no Marauders to direct the battlefield. This shit would have been twice as hard.

“Hey, you can land now Laerdol,” Zaeed commed him before switching over to the provided Alliance bandwidth. “Delta Squad, this is,” Shit, they didn’t have an designation. Whatever, not that it mattered. “This is the goddamn cavalry with your bloody munitions supplies.”

The line crackled to life. “Holy shit, you guys made it?”

“Yeah, that’s the difference between mercs who know what the fuck they’re doing and little boys playing soldier. You want your shit or not?”

Zaeed was gonna pretend he didn’t hear Jisseya chortling. Or the wet tearing sound of Buksor ripping the guns off the Ravager to inspect them more closely. Kaemus was crouched down in front of a ripped up Husk and poking at something. Not like there was anything to loot. 

“We’ll send the recon vehicle. ETA, fifteen minutes.”

He brought up his omni-tool, setting a timer. “Hustle then, I won’t be waiting here longer than that with my arse hanging out.”

The pressure and wind change made him look up to see Laerdol banking the small Alliance ship to gently land it amid the gore and lower the gangplank. Zaeed walked up, the carefully stacked munitions still secured in place. He checked it over, before finally looking at the waiting notification.

Course it was from bloody Javik. Couldn’t have been at quite literally any other time. Heavy footsteps made him look back to see Buksor come stomping back on, those Ravager guns in hand. He didn’t know what she planned on doing with them, he wasn’t about to ask.

“Keep the mess outta the way.” Was all he said, as he closed his messages. That unread mail icon felt burnt into his mind now.

Buksor nodded, slinging it into a corner before she came over. “How much longer before these kids show up?”

“Ten minutes. Better believe I’m not sticking around longer than I have to,” Zaeed eyed Jisseya and Kaemus who were chatting as they sauntered back onto the ship. “Don’t care if the Alliance gets pissy, they should keep to a damn schedule.”

“Just a drop and go, right?” Jisseya asked, slouching against the munitions case.

“Yeah. It better be. They want more, they can pay up for that first.” Zaeed gave a dismissive sniff. “Would be just like the Alliance to fuck someone over once more when it should be done.”

“So long as you don’t want to play big goddamn hero again,” Jisseya was giving him a funny look. “This is a war I aim to survive.”

“You and me both.” 

Zaeed itched to go outside but something in his gut told him to wait it out inside the small hangar bay. Everything _looked_ fine, but goddamn if his senses weren’t whispering a warning about something. The sound of tires on dirt made him head to the gangplank. Already he could see three rovers slowing down to park. He had his gun in his hands before he even thought about it. Three rovers to pick up a single shipment of munitions?

The shots started as soon as troops started pouring out. Those weren’t Alliance colours, what the hell was the Illusive Man playing at having fucking troopers out here? And right on the heels of Reaper troopers? Fifty creds said that the Alliance Delta Squad was dead already. Everyone hunkered down inside behind the tiny weapon benches as troopers started to push into the ship. Fucking hell, last thing they needed was to be boarded and then indoctrinated to follow that arsehole.

“Hey, Kaemus!” Zaeed hollered over the shots.

Those muted ochre mandibles flared in a grin. It was as if the turian read his mind. “How many?”

“Outside the ship. We got some loads of munitions to spare. Go nuts.”

Kaemus was already moving, dodging to the closest munition crate stack that he cut free from its securing ties. He activated the grav-lift, Zaeed had no idea to what setting but when he kicked it, it moved like a rocket and plowed through the troopers. Yeah, he could see where this is was going, brilliant fucking move.

“Laerdol, you better have this ship ready to go.” Zaeed called out.

“Been in idle since I landed,” Laerdol’s voice was amused over the comm line. “Not my fuel and we have enough to get back.”

Jisseya moved next pushing out a barrier that shoved the disoriented troopers off the ship. There were a few stragglers as they slowly lifted off and Buksor ran over kicking them off. Her Claymore barked a few times and then an almighty explosion came, with the edges of a plume of fire and a wave of heat just reaching them inside. Zaeed was pretty sure one of them didn’t make it, if the screams and wet crunch sound from the closing ramp were anything to go by. Poor bastard must have been hanging on for dear life. Should have just let go and dropped.

“So what now?” Buksor asked. “We still get our payday?”

“Yeah, I’ll make sure of it. And we take some as our cut. Cerberus wasn’t part of the bloody deal.” Zaeed scowled. “Laerdol,how long til we reach the Citadel?”

“Shouldn’t be too long, a day at most. Docking might take a bit longer, even with the temp priority access we’ve been given.”

Still too fucking long in his opinion. “Get me an open channel to that Alliance arsehole who gave us this mission. Direct it to my omni-tool.”

“I’ll patch it through as soon as I raise him.”

Zaeed could feel everyone watching him as he stomped off to find some medi-gel for his shoulder. Goddamn this mission had gone tits up fast. They were lucky to get out as quick as they did. He grabbed a medi-gel from the kit stashed in the small mess and just ripped it open to smear some on. He hissed at the sting but waited for it to do its thing and harden up. And when he looked at his omni-tool, yeah, there was still that message from Javik. Zaeed stared at it, unsure what to do for a few moments before he stabbed the sealed envelope icon.

_‘We are on the Citadel for the next few days. I am still aboard the Normandy.’_

All he could do was stare at it some more. Was this a booty call or did Javik seriously want to talk? The message was so cryptic that honestly, Zaeed had zero fucking idea. But there was only one way to — The flashing alert of an incoming call grabbed his attention now.

“Major Persaud for you.” Laerdol’s voice came over the comm.

“Patch it through,” Zaeed waited for the crackle of interference to stop and then he cut to the chase. “What the hell are you playing at?”

“Did you make the delivery or not?” Persaud sounded half distracted.

“No, because Cerberus doesn’t get fucking munitions needed for the damn war. How about you give me a call back when your head isn’t up your arse?”

“Cerberus?” that caught Persaud’s attention. “They were there?”

“Yeah, so all your boys there are probably dead. And from what I’ve seen, Cerberus is all but working with the Reapers. Consider the base lost and fortify up somewhere else.”

“We need that base, it’s a strategic listening outpost,” there was someone talking in the background, muffled. “Double the pay if you can clear out the base and you use the munitions given, keep whatever isn’t used.”

Zaeed tilted his head back, inhaling slow and deep. He could see everyone else lingering in the hallway by the mess door, not even trying to look inconspicuous. Buksor looked up for it as did Kaemus, but Jisseya seemed to have second thoughts. He gestured for her to speak.

“So, let me get this straight,” she said as she came closer. “You want us to clear out a base for you with no intel about what we’re up against exactly and then what? Sit on our asses, waiting for you to take your Goddess-chanced time to show up?”

“We’re authorizing a black ops squad to come in and back you up. However, they’re four hours out and you’re still the closest,” Persaud sounded annoyed. “If you can help us out — ”

“Money up front.” Buksor hollered, not bothering to budge.

“This is how you run your crew Massani?” Persaud finally snapped. 

“They’re just saying everything I would have.” Zaeed didn’t bother to hide his scowl. “Anything you want to chip in Kaemus?”

Kaemus shook his head with a chuckle, “These lovely ladies have pretty much covered it. But can’t say I’m surprised the Alliance dropped the ball to some degree. Kinda their MO, in my experience.”

Keep it together, do not laugh in front of the arsehole payday’s face. “You got our terms. Call us back soon. How long before we reach our point of no return?”

“Two and a half hours.” Laerdol’s voice was crisp over the intercom.

“There you go. Make up your mind quick.” Zaeed disconnected the call. “Fucking Alliance, always more headache than it’s sometimes worth.”

“You’re telling me.” Jisseya frowned. “But they dropped the damned ball that hard? Someone is fucking hemorraghing info on their end.”

“Bet you we don’t hear from them again.” Kaemus shook his head.

“Or we do because someone’s really trying to get us killed.” Zaeed frowned. “Let’s assume the worst and they do pony up the money and we go back.”

They spent the next two hours going through scenarios. Zaeed really shouldn’t have been surprised when the Alliance called back with twenty minutes to spare.

____________________________________________

“Fucking hell, everything hurts and I’m pretty sure we all reek to high heaven.” Zaeed groaned as he came off the gangplank.

“I swear, if it wasn’t for the payday, you like being a big damn hero,” Buksor shoved at his shoulder with a deep laugh. “That infamous Commander Shepard rubbing off on you?”

“Hell no. I like creds just fine, and plenty of them. Have you seen the way prices have shot up. Damn near costs an arm and a leg just to eat.”

“Imagine how I feel,” Buksor looked back to where Kaemus and Jisseya were taking their time coming down the gangplank. “You think those two will ever sort themselves out?”

Zaeed shrugged. “Damned if I know. That’s their business, not mine,” and speaking of there was still a message sitting in his inbox demanding his attention. “I got some other business to take care of. You got everything?”

“Yeah. Clearing out before that asshole emerges from the cockpit. This was fun, even if the Alliance couldn’t tell it’s head from it’s ass. Look me up again for more insane shit like this.”

Buksor gave him a friendly tap to the shoulder before disappearing into the hustle and bustle of the busy dock. Zaeed spared a glance back to the other two lingering before he headed down for the cabs, pulling up his omni-tool.

_‘Just docked. Still parked?’_

The reply came back not even five seconds later. _‘Upper docks, berth A24. The Commander says that you have clearance to come aboard.’_

Of course Shepard would say that. Little shit was probably waiting to see how this all shook out between him and Javik. He hit the destination into the cab’s nav comp stand before he paused. He’d literally just come off a ship, reeking of a hard fight and spattered with who knew what. But maybe that was just his vanity more than just wanting this conversation done and over with. It didn’t take much to sit down and take the five minute ride.

If there was something Zaeed would admit, the Normandy was always a hell of a sight. Seeing it parked in the berth, gleaming black, white and with touches of blue… yeah, hell of a sight. He made his way up the docking ramp and waited for the door to open for him.

“Welcome back Zaeed,” Edi’s smooth voice came from that body and he would never be over that. “Javik is down in his quarters, waiting for you.” She paused taking him in. “You have come from a mission.”

“Yeah. Got enough shit on my plate, gonna see what the hell that arsehole wants.”

“I dunno,” Joker called from the cockpit. “Probably wants to bang again. Word is you two finally got to it. You’d make a killing on vids, you know.”

There was a surge of anger at the thought of that and then Zaeed just snorted because there was no way in hell the kid would ever say that to Javik’s face. Zaeed being the safe bet, who’d of thought?

“Probably would. Who’d want to see a kid break a wrist while jerking off?”

The laugh Joker gave was a little too hard and a little too long. When he glanced at Edi, she merely shook her head slightly. Alright then, he wasn’t gonna press.

“Well, you got Edi here. Sure she’ll patch you up.” Zaeed called as he headed for the elevator. “Don’t break him, no matter how much he pisses you off Edi.”

“I shall try not to.” Came her amused reply. 

“Wow Edi, seriously?” Joker chimed in.

The elevator was still slow as shit and took forever to crawl on down to the engineering level. Turn left, down the hall, unlock the door and into the humid room that Javik occupied. There was the water table, a screen showing info feeds and there was Javik just sitting there, cross legged on the floor and looking at something in front of him. 

A small black Prothean data drive.

“Have you ever let your ghosts rest?”

Zaeed raised both eyebrows at that. Shit, no pulling any punches. Hell, not even a ‘primitive’ comment. Not that Javik had ever called him that. Hm. Okay, he’d bite. 

“My ghosts kept me going,” Zaeed came over and sat down, every bit of his body protesting. “Jesus fucking Christ.”

Javik looked up at him, eyes flicking over him. “I was… occupied when you had to leave.”

“What the fuck with?” Zaeed didn’t mean to snap but really, it was more of a knee-jerk reaction.

“The Commander says I should let old ghosts lie but I wonder if anyone else added to the memory shard, if there is not something new that perhaps may help fight the Reapers.”

Zaeed looked at the innocuous black rectangle. “It was found in your pod, wasn’t it? You’d be the last one to look at it.”

“No. I took it from my last squadmate after I slit their throat. I have not yet looked at it or added to it.”

Well, shit. There was only one thing that came to mind that would drive Javik to such a reaction. “Indoctrinated.”

“And that is why I am unsure of it now.” Javik looked at him. “How far have your ghosts driven you?”

All Zaeed could think about now was a grave somewhere on Earth where he’d buried a part of himself so young. “Far enough. My ghosts got me off Earth and out here and my rage kept me going.”

Javik seemed to contemplate his words before he reached for the shard. “Do not let anyone in.”

A glance was spared for the door before Zaeed turned his attention back to Javik. He saw hesitation for a second, a moment of stillness before the shard was picked up. It remained matte until the green flashed down it. The only sound Javik made was a sharp inhale of breath and then his eyes were moving, seeing something else. 

For some reason, Zaeed expected something, anything besides this stillness and quiet. A shout, a snarl, even goddamn tears, not that he ever thought Javik would cry. It was just too strange a concept. But hell, even tears would have been better than… this. It was like looking at a statue.

Time ticked on by and when Zaeed glanced at the time, he was surprised to see that over 40 minutes had passed. How much shit was on this thing anyhow? But still Javik didn’t move, didn’t do anything besides sit there with the shard in hand and breathe. He may as well have been lost in the past.

There came the telltale click of the door lock disengaging and Zaeed was on his feet, moving for the door. Shepard looked up from their datapad about to say something but surprise clear on their face. 

“Zaeed? What are—”

“He’s busy, get the fuck out.”

And just like that Zaeed shoved out Shepard, making sure the door closed behind him. “Edi, keep this goddamn door locked until Javik is done.”

“Affirmative, Zaeed,” after a moment, Edi added, “The Commander wishes to speak to Javik when he is available.”

“Is it urgent?” Zaeed was starting to think the shit Alliance mission was the easiest part of his past four days.

“At the moment, no. I will inform the Commander of Javik’s availability when he is done with you.”

“Thanks. You know, if you take over the world, you might be the politest AI ever to get away with it.”

“I believe you mean ‘when’ and not ‘if’.” Edi’s amusement was evident. “Logging you out Zaeed.”

He sat back down on a crate, waiting for Javik to drag himself out of the past. Damn, a chair or even a cot in here wouldn’t have been that much aggravation. Hell, even he had more back when he was on this ship. He slouched back against the wall and kept an eye on Javik. It was three hours later when a clatter on the floor had him on his feet. The shard was back on the ground and Javik was just blankly staring at the floor. 

“Oi,” Zaeed started.

The blank, dead look Javik gave him for a second had Zaeed moving to kneel in front of the Prothean.

“Hey.” Zaeed kept his voice quiet and soft.

When he took Javik’s hand in his, it was millions of voices screaming in his head. All crying for blood, for those lost and for the death of the empire. He dropped Javik’s hand as if scalded and found his heart was pounding and breathing hard. How the fuck did Shepard go around dealing with this shit like it was nothing? Shit, no wonder Javik looked so goddamn out of it. Taking a deep breath and steeling himself for the onslaught, he picked up both of Javik’s hands.

It still hit hard, like slamming into a brick wall after hitting the water from a high drop. Everything in his mind screamed at him to let go, but he tightened his grip on Javik’s hands. He caught wavering images, like something seen at the bottom of shallow pond. The Citadel teeming with so many different species, all Prothean. He saw it on fire, Keepers dragging off corpses and dying people still fighting. There was a planet with a hazy purple sky choked with smoke and Prothean buildings in ruins. He saw a planet explode from afar in orbit, barely seen through the window of a spaceship. Worst of all were the faces. Some smiling, some emotions so intense, it threatened to drown him. Love, fear, hope but grief, so much grief. He saw a blue-grey face, so achingly familiar, stare back him while explaining why the Reapers could be reasoned with and why working together would benefit all. The knife was heavy in his hand and the grief so strong that he felt maybe he should use the blade on himself. Watched that familiar face crumple as the knife flashed and red poured down that throat.

That was finally what made him let go of Javik’s hands. “Otam.” It was a name that felt burned into his brain.

“My last squadmate.”

“Fuck.”

Zaeed took Javik’s hand again, more out of pure instinct than anything else. It wasn’t pity that motivated him, so maybe that’s why Javik didn’t fight. Just held Zaeed’s hand and looked at it. Yes, there was grief, but it was duty that had driven the knife and resulted in Otam’s death. One person spreading such heretical lies would doom them all. Hell, it _had_ doomed the Prothean empire. A single voice had become many, and they brought down the shattered remnants from within. Thank fuck no one really seemed to be buying into Cerberus’ bullshit lies about joining up to help fight. Alliance recruitment was way up as far as he could tell. 

They didn’t say anything for a while, just quiet and sitting on the floor, holding hands. It was only when Zaeed’s eyes strayed to the shard on the floor that something occurred to him.

“You ever look at what was on that thing Shepard gave you?”

“No. I would need a larger data orb than the one the Commander has aboard.”

“What, like that big-ass one on Elentania?” Zaeed frowned after a moment. “Your decision though.”

Javik gave a derisive sniff. “I am not diverting a warship for my own personal gain.”

“I’ll get a ship,” the words came from Zaeed’s mouth before his brain really thought it through. “Pretty sure I can get Shepard to loan you out from the fight for a bit.”

Now Javik looked torn. Duty versus desire. But if there one thing Zaeed wouldn’t do, it was try to convince Javik to do this. If they were going to piss off to some planet to go digging for more info, then it was only happening if Javik said so. But honestly, Zaeed wouldn’t be surprised if Javik threw the word ‘intel’ into his reasons for why to go.

“I will ask the Commander,” Javik looked at their hands, his eyes fixed on Zaeed’s five fingers. “But only if there is time.”

“You’d be surprised what Shepard makes time for.” Zaeed paused for a moment, looking at Javik’s bowed head. “The trick to old ghosts is yeah, you can let them drive you. But like hell if they’ll drag you down with ‘em.”

Javik finally looked up at him. “And that is a common saying in this cycle?”

Zaeed shook his head. “Nah, that’s just from experience. So you go ask Shepard and I’ll see about finding a ship.”

“You don’t have a ship?” Javik sounded less than impressed. 

“Oi, they’re bloody expensive to maintain and dock. Easier to let the client pay for it and spend my creds where they count.” Zaeed scratched at his chin with his free hand. “Besides, knowing Shepard he might offer to take you or loan out a shuttle.”

There was mild horror on Javik’s face. “That’s too great a waste of resources.”

All Zaeed could do was laugh. “You don’t know Shepard at all, do you?”


End file.
